IMPACT - The Story of Debbie - People Come into our Lives for Special Reasons

When I was a young teenager struggling with my dysfunction past, I was seeking freedom. Freedom from the abuse and I was trying to find my purpose. I needed to connect with positive people and situations in my life so that I can make change happen.

I met a woman named Judy.  I was 14 at the time and I signed up for a youth employment program, and she gave me my first job of mopping the high school pool floors, cleaning the locker rooms and also cleaning the Youth Recreational center. I loved to clean because it was the one thing in my life that I could actually control.  Judy always came to chat with me while I was working and she saw something in me, something I didn’t know I had.  She gave me purpose and direction. 

Judy became my mentor right from the beginning and I was grateful to have her.  I do believe that mentors save lives, because she saved mine. She taught me self-worth, my inner potential and supported me every step of the way.  Then one day she came to me and offered me a job working at a summer camp for disadvantaged and disabled children.

I remember her saying to me, “you will be perfect for this job, you understand”.   How did she know I understood?   I never told her about my past, or what I was currently going through, but she saw!  This is the first person to ever see me, and I was unbelievably happy.

While working there I met a little girl named Debbie. She had blonde hair, big blue eyes and a crooked smile. She caught my attention immediately and I was drawn to her. I SAW HER. She came to camp every day in winter clothing that were soiled and dirty, and her beautiful blonde hair was dark and matted down. She smelled bad, but what struck me even more is that she came every single day happy, laughing and genuinely excited to be there.

We became instantly connected and my inner soul wanted nothing more than to help her. I inquired with my boss about more information as to why she is always so dirty and disheveled. I learned a lot about her living situation and her alcoholic mother. She had two younger siblings and they were very poor. Back in this era of life, there were not many programs to help children like Debbie or her family. There was NO reporting neglect or abuse, as people did not want to be the “whistle blower”. This made me angry and confused me, but it also struck a nerve because NObody stepped up to help or save me as a young child. Nobody stepped up to help my mother who struggled profusely with her mental illness.

As a young teen, I DECIDED to step up for Debbie the best that I could. I bought her several items with my own money - (clothing, shoes, a bathing suit, toiletries) and a backpack to keep all of her items safe. With permission from my boss, I took her to the High School pool locker room and taught her how to shower herself, brush her teeth and do her own hair. Debbie was an eight year old little girl, who didnt know how to do any of these things.

When she stepped out of the dressing room with her new bathing suit on and her little “jelly” shoes, she looked like a completely different child. She smiled so brightly and her hair was so blonde, it was almost white. I was shocked. She ran to me hugged and I said to her, “Debbie you look beautiful - not lets get you in that pool”. She stepped out onto the pool floor giggling and laughing then jumped into the pool to swim with her peers. My heart was filled with joy, because I was able to offer her that gift.

From this point forward we were truly connected. I helped her every day because she did have a learning disability, so schoolwork was very hard for her. We would take time every day to work on her skills, and the spend the rest of the day running and playing. I also took it upon myself to meet her family. Her mother was very accepting of me, and looking back now, I think she was shocked at the kindness and compassion that I offered not only Debbie, but to her younger siblings. I was even invited to attend birthday parties for all three of these children, and Debbie would come to my house for visits.

We spent two summers at camp together and had countless visits throughout the school year. I always made sure Debbie had what she needed and did everything that I could possibly do to continue helping her.

When the second year of camp was coming to an end, my boss approached me with devastating news. Debbie and her family were moving away. I was beside myself and went into instant panic mode. I asked a million questions about where they were going, and who was going to watch over her. I was met with answers that I didnt want to hear or accept. I was a young girl with zero power to a higher authority. I did have my voice, but the “red tape” of life was not ready to be broken. “The ERA of SILENCE”.

So, I spent my last days with Debbie trying my best to teach her everything I thought would help her moving forward in life. She had made so many wonderful strides. I was so worried about her well-being and safety. I cried many internal tears because I didn’t want her to see me cry.

On the last day of camp, I pulled her aside to have one last conversation:

My last words to Debbie:  Please remember everything I taught you, and how to take care of yourself – I know you can do it.  I said to her, “Also remember to advocate for yourself”. Do not be afraid to ask for help. She hugged me tightly and said she would never forget and she loved me.  I said, “I love you too”, that was the last time I ever saw her. My heart was broken.

I truly took this job to heart because of my loving and caring spirit. The abuse did not harden me; it pushed me to want to help these kids because nobody helped me.  Debbie saved me just as much as I saved her.

When our journey ended, it was like the loss of a loved one (mourning the living).  I did grieve and worry at the same time. I prayed for her every night. I prayed for her safety and that she would go on to live a happy life.  I think of her from time to time, and I wonder if she made it.

Debbie taught me about what my life purpose was, and how I should be living my life; helping others.

I carry her with me always.

Embrace the Journey

Lisa Zarcone

Author - Child & Mental Health Advocate - Public Speaker - Blogger - Social Media Influencer

The resilience of a child is like no other… My Inner Child