The Bigger Picture - Generational Abuse & The Point of NO Return

MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS

Generational trauma is the transmission of emotional, psychological, or cultural wounds from one generation to the next, affecting descendants who may not have directly experienced the original trauma.

Generational trauma, also called intergenerational or transgenerational trauma, occurs when unresolved trauma experienced by one generation creates lasting effects that are passed down to children and grandchildren through behaviors, parenting styles, cultural practices, and even biological mechanisms such as epigenetic changes clevelandclinic.org+1. It is not a physical object but rather an emotional and psychological burden that influences how individuals perceive the world, respond to stress, and interact with others.

There are so many traits, traditions and physical similarities that travel through many generations, but NOBODY wants to connect with “generational trauma:”.

When we think of mental illness there are so many things that come to mind.  Mental health has been a growing concern in our country as the numbers are rising in all statistics concerning this topic.   Countless families are being affected by undiagnosed or untreated mental health conditions.

Think about the family unit.  The parents (or guardians) are the people who are supposed to offer love, safety and support, as they maintain a strong well-run household filled with care and structure.  NOW, that is the American Dream!!!   A well-run happy home, filled with all the “feel good” components.

There are many people who achieve that reality, but what if the parent or guardian is struggling with mental illness?

How does that effect the whole family?  Can they positively work together to overcome such difficult challenges?    It is possible with the proper help and support, but how many people will reach out for help.  Do they want to disclose their illness to the world?  Far too many people do not for countless reasons –

Embarrassment

Fear of losing their job or children

Being judged

Not being accepted

Ridiculed and misunderstood

Or the classic -- What happens in the home, stays in the home. The family handles problems “WITHIN’ the family

There are many scenarios that could be set in place to stop someone for seeking help.

Unfortunately, a family unit can fall apart very quickly when the leaders at the realm become unstable.

This is how the generational piece fits in because when a family is silenced under the realm of “the head of household”, this causes the trickle effect as these behaviors are “learned” and passed down to future generations to come. What happens in the home - stays in the home and the family unit takes care of each situation WITHIN the family. NO outside help accepted!

That residue of the past continues to wedge its way into the future by weaving a tight web of false truths.

When you think about why people do horrendous things and harm others - Go bigger than what you see on the surface. Many offenders were once abused children who lived in very dysfunctional environments. Many of their behaviors are “learned” from childhood. The fact about abuse and trauma is that it shifts brain functioning, and that is when the damage occurs. Unresolved trauma has a lifelong effect if not addressed or treated properly. That is not to say that all abused people go on to harm others, but there is a direct link to the patterns that are reported.

When someone goes over the line - I call this “the point of no return”. All decision making is blurred with a clouded view. Rational thinking goes out the window and is replaced with delusional thoughts, which can lead to impulsive actions. When someone hits this point, they already have a game plan thought out inside their mind and are figuring out how to execute the plan.

How do we stop the process? How do we help someone switch gears before it is too late?

These are difficult questions to answer, because there are NO easy answers, but it is clear to state that it all goes back to childhood and the family unit. That is where we must begin. The changes have to be made there, and this could actually break the cycle of generational abuse. People have to be willing to step up and push for change. Healing can happen and that in itself will shift people in new directions. Sometimes difficult decisions have to be made, and this could cause family separation, and that can be scary for many. I had to make those difficult decisions in my life so that I could heal. It was a long hard road towards freedom, and some family members stepped away from me. At the time it hurt, but now looking back and reflecting on everything; I am grateful for my journey and where I am in my life now.

I broke the cycle, and you can too. Hard work and determination are key, and a strong mindset will help you focus on your end goal, which is to heal once and for all. This sets up the next generation with a brand-new view of the world through a different set of lenses. The residue of the past is washed away as new paths are carved lighting the way towards great adventures.

There is so much work to be done, but the good news is that “Change is Possible”.

Embrace the Journey,

Lisa Zarcone

Author - Child & Mental Health Advocate - Public Speaker - Social Media Influencer - Blogger