SOLITUDE: The state of being alone or secluded often by choice providing a peaceful, constructive and voluntary opportunity for reflection, creativity or rest (mental and physical).

The Pine…

When I was a young girl my home was a place of horror and dysfunction. I lived in the unknown because of my mother’s instabilities with her struggles with mental illness. Sometime life was too hard to bear and I would want to run away. My mind clouded as the abuse has taken over my own stability.

One night I had enough, and I ran away. I was around 13 years old. I packed a few things in my backpack and took my dog with me. We ran out into the darkness of the night escaping this house of horrors! We walked for a while and went to this area where the road split. There were an area of greenery and a big pine tree sitting in the middle. The night air was cold hitting my face as I looked up at the sky filled with brilliant stars shining so bright. It was like they guided me here to safety.

This pine was so tall blending into the night sky, and the branches dropped so low touching the ground. I thought to myself, “Here is a place of safety”. With my trusty dog in tow, we made our way to this magnificent tree and climbed on in between the big heavy branches. I sat down on the ground pulling out my blanket to keep us both warm.

As we snuggled in I silently wept. My dog gave me comfort and love, and I began to settle. I listened to the wind gently moving the tree. As the branches swayed, I could hear small cracking sounds that echoed into the night. I could smell the pine, and this gave me peace. I embraced all the smells, sounds and felt grounded to the earth. I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and knew I had to go back home, because I had no where to go. I was a young child lost in the madness and chaos. I felt defeated and confused, but I did go back home because I wanted my dog safe. Walking up those steps that day was quite difficult for me, and my stomach ached with confliction. Making my way through that door and over the threshold felt like I was throwing myself to the wolves, but I knew I needed to be there. The sad thing was, my mother never even knew I was gone, and she thought I was just out taking my dog for an early morning walk.

I thought to myself, “Am I not worth noticing? If I disappeared would anyone care?”.

This moment as hard as it felt, taught me many lessons that would play out in my life in a positive way. It taught me self-care, and solitude. By experiencing running away that night, I learned how nature can heal the soul. These coping skills were imbedded in my mind and my go to when life because unstable, heavy and difficult.

Nature Wisdom.

How does a young mind cope with such dysfunction?

It is amazing how resilient children can be. I remember back to those times of great struggle and what stands out to me the most is that raw determination to find goodness in my days.

I would go out into my yard, there were woods behind my home, and I would go on great expeditions exploring nature. With my trusty dog by my side, armed with a sketch pad, journal, pens and pencils, we would go deep into the woods alone! It was there that I would find my inner peace. The crackling of the trees and the beautiful smell of the pine.

Finally, I would find my destination and sit under the perfect tree. Taking in the smell of the pine, listening to the bird’s chirp, I was transported to many different places as I fantasized about a safe home, far away adventures and happiness.

As I wrote in my journal, sketched my surroundings I found my solitude. These precious moments gave my mind a chance to rest. I was unknowingly recharging my batteries, with these self-soothing techniques that I was truly unaware of. I was a child! How did I know any different?

I know now that those special moments alone, are a big part of what helped me cope and survive a deplorable situation. With my faithful dog by my side, I felt like I would be OK.

Fast forward - to so many years later, those same coping skills still work! Everything that we do to help ourselves does not have to be a grand gesture. It is back to the basics! Connecting to ourselves - finding our footing, by being grounded to the earth.

It is time to listen to your inner child and see what he/she may need.

We can gain much wisdom by channeling our “resilient inner-child” and retrace those steps towards healing the soul.

We have the power from within to heal our wounds, and embrace life to the fullest.

It all starts with self-awareness and the tenacity of our inner child who chose never to give up.

Embrace the Journey,

Lisa Zarcone

Author - Child & Mental Health Advocate - Public Speaker - Blogger - Social Media Influencer

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Pine Trees - The Shelter from the Storm - Nature Brings Solitude