BREAKING THE CYCLE OF GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND ABUSE
Definition of Generational Trauma
Generational trauma — also called intergenerational or transgenerational trauma — is the emotional, psychological, and sometimes cultural legacy of traumatic events that is passed down from one generation to the next, affecting people who did not directly experience the original trauma
Core Definition
According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, it is the transmission of trauma or its legacy, in the form of psychological consequences of injury, attack, poverty, or other adverse events, from the generation that experiences the trauma to subsequent generations APA Dictionary of Psychology. This can occur through psychological, behavioral, environmental, and even biological (epigenetic) mechanisms
Key Point
Generational trauma is not just about physical injury — it’s about lasting emotional and psychological wounds that can shape identity, relationships, and health across multiple generations, even without the original event being experienced directly
In short, generational trauma is the inherited impact of unresolved trauma, carried forward through family, cultural, and biological channels, influencing the well-being of future generations.
“Trauma responses are deeply held and hard to shake. Breaking the cycle of generational trauma takes more than sheer willpower — it often requires support, tools and new ways of thinking.”
The experiences of generations before you aren’t your fault. And the ways they affect you are valid. But you have the power to stop the cycle.
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF GENERATIONAL TRAUMA
Above is the definition of generational trauma and how it all comes together affecting future generations until someone “Breaks the Cycle”.
As we have now grown into adults trying to make our way through life, this inner child rears its head from time to time reminding us that we have unfinished business! There will be something that will trigger a memory or a painful past moment, and there he/she is the inner child having a tantrum, screaming and crying to be let out! What do we do as competent adults? WE squash the child back into silence, because that is how we were taught, our life lessons bestowed upon us tattooed on our damaged soul. We fight tooth and nail to keep it all hidden. Let the child sleep, do not trigger him/her awake to cause havoc in our daily lives!
As we press forward again and again we try to keep that inner child hidden from the world, this hideous little beast that is relentlessly kicking us in the shins. You say “STOP” “GO AWAY”, but the adamant child continues to banter until you cannot take it anymore, and you are forced to take a peek.
The Important Question is…
What is so bad about meeting this child? The child of the past with this unspoken truth! Why do you want them to continually slumber as you are fumbling through life? Is this child dirty, evil or bad? Is your inner child not worth addressing? Many good questions to ask yourself!
When we think about the “generational” piece to our upbringing and dysfunctional environments, we must address the inner child. That is where it all began, in our childhood. The lessons that we learned along the way have been passed down from generation to generation keeping the trauma hidden from the world.
One hundred years ago, Fifty years ago, twenty years ago - Families hid everything - nothing was talked about. Mental Health, Incest, Abuse, Trauma, Addiction… I can go on and on but the point being - That was a silent protocol dropped in our laps as young children.
Now as grown adult we are faced with big decisions. Do we continue the “family pattern” and remain silent or do we go against the grain and break the cycle. Of course, this is a difficult decision to make because it will come with much controversy and family discord.
We must think about this - Do we want to fully heal and be free of the burdens of the past, or will we carry it with us the rest of our lives as we unload it on to the next generation?
Are we strong enough to face this insidious beast and tame it once and for all - freeing the next generation of these past pains.
Very difficult questions to face because once you release your inner child, there is no turning back. You must prepare yourself for a long bumpy road of many deep emotions and you must be willing to face the facts of your past family history.
My Story
Here is the very short version. I am an adult survivor of child abuse turned author and child & mental health advocate. My story is horrendous riddled with many forms of abuse, mental illness and secondary abuse. The childhood that I endured definitely speaks to generational trauma and mental illness - The protocol was SILENCE.
That silence almost killed me in more ways than one. I struggled with my internal demons until I decided to break the silence and go on a long healing journey. It was there that I put all of the pieces together of my ancestors before me. I gained a great understanding of the generational factors and my parents core values.
My mother struggled profusely with mental illness, and as I looked into her past, I found the struggles of her family members before her - Mental Illness - Alcoholism - Incest - Child Abuse - it was all there sitting in HER lap before I was even a thought! Unfortunately, she remained silent like all of her family did and it was imploded onto me. Joann passed the torch!
As an author I wrote my own personal memoir, “The Unspoken Truth” describing my childhood in great details, penning my story from the child’s perspective. A raw and powerful view through a window that nobody truly wants to peek in.
On my healing journey, I decided to look through the eyes of my abuser to gain clarity as to why it all unfolded onto me. What I have found with both my parent, my family members and my sexual abuser (not a family member) was that “generational abuse” was a big part of the WHY and HOW!
I went on to write, “The Book of Joann” - this is my mother’s story and her lifelong battle with mental illness and our complex relationship as mother and daughter. Her story clearly maps out the generational path of abuse and trauma. I highly recommend reading her story so that you can gain that clarity as well. Joann’s story is a full novel from birth to death and everything in between and gives a clear picture of how it all unfolds and trickles down onto the next generation.
I AM PROUD TO SAY - I BROKE THE CYCLE
By doing the self-work that I have done, and challenged to protocols of the past, I did it. I broke the cycle of this trauma - setting my inner child free. By doing so, I saved the next generation (my children) and my grandchildren from enduring these silent pains. My children has a wonderful upbringing filled with countless family moments, embracing what “true family” is all about. They have received a beautiful gift of life that I never had. Now, raising our grandchildren, I get to do it again! Carving a new path of a better life for all.
It was brutally hard to get here, and the healing process is messy to say the least. I lost family member and friends along the way because I chose to step UP and speak OUT. Did it sting a bit - YES IT DID - but the truth - the honest truth - It was worth it because I chose ME. I chose to save myself and the next generations to come. It was time and I believe it was a life path chosen for me - I just had to find the courage and faith to step into the light.
This is a reminder - we have the ability to change everything moving forward. As we cannot change the past - WE can change the narrative. Our past does not have to define our future. WE get to Choose.
Are you ready to take a journey? The choice is up to you. You have the opportunity to take the lead in our own story.
Embrace the Journey,
God Bless
Lisa Zarcone
Author - Child & Mental Health Advocate - Public Speaker - Social Media Influencer - Blogger
CASA ADVOCATE
MA National Ambassador for NAASCA
