Mental Illness and The Family Unit - How It Can All Fall Apart
Mental Illness & The Family Unit
When we think of mental illness there are so many things that come to mind. Mental health has been a growing concern in our country as the numbers are rising in all statistics concerning this topic. Countless families are being affected by undiagnosed or untreated mental health conditions.
Think about the family unit. The parents (or guardians) are the people who are supposed to offer love, safety and support, as they maintain a strong well-run household filled with care and structure. NOW, that is the American Dream!!! A well-run happy home, filled with all the “feel good” components.
There are many people who achieve that reality, but what if the parent or guardian is struggling with mental illness?
How does that effect the whole family? Can they positively work together to overcome such difficult challenges? It is possible with the proper help and support, but how many people will reach out for help. Do they want to disclose their illness to the world? Far too many people do not for countless reasons –
Embarrassment
Fear of losing their job or children
Being judged
Not being accepted
Ridiculed and misunderstood
Or the classic -- What happens in the home, stays in the home. The family handles problems “WITHIN’ the family
There are many scenarios that could be set in place to stop someone for seeking help.
Unfortunately, a family unit can fall apart very quickly when the leaders at the realm become unstable.
**Mental illness brings doubt, confusion and chaos to a family. But a family can heal when it moves beyond their loved one's illness—not away from their loved one. (Support and Structure) are necessary to overcome. Also, educating yourself on mental health, so that everyone can understand why the person is struggling. It takes a lot of team work within a family to make it all work.
We all have hopes and dreams about starting a family. When we have stars in our eyes and a youthful glow, people are not thinking about, “What if I become mentally Ill”.
Starting a family is a milestone in many people's lives. It can also be a stressful time and many parents experience mental ill health. Mental ill health of parents can have a negative impact on the development of their children. But this is not always the case.
Approximately 68% of women and 57% of men with mental health problems are parents.1
The most common mental health problems experienced during pregnancy and after birth are anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).2
Women experiencing maternal mental health problems:3
Postpartum psychosis: 2 per 1,000
Serious mental ill health: 2 per 1,000
Severe depressive illness: 30 per 1,000
Mild-moderate depressive illness and anxiety states: 100-150 per 1,000
PTSD: 30 per 1,000
Adjustment disorders and distress: 150-300 per 1,000
THIS IS THE IMPACT
The impact of severe mental illnesses (SMIs) is not limited to the person with the illness but extends to their family members and the community where the patient comes from. In this review, we systematically analyze the available evidence of impacts of SMI on family members, including parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses and children.
Our review indicated a high level of multidimensional impact across multiple generations. The serious nature of the impact calls for interventions to address the multidimensional and multigenerational impact of SMI, particularly in low/middle-income countries. Given the relatively high number of studies rated methodologically weak, more robust studies are indicated.
Caring for a person with mental illness takes a substantial toll on social relationships, employment and income and psychological well-being. Most families fear for their future health in addition to the stress of caring for their ill family member. Families of people with SMI have worse physical health and seek more medical care than those families without SMI.
Children of people with SMI have higher risk of developing physical and mental illness for a variety of reasons, including stigma, financial difficulties, the burden of caring for ill parents and genetic vulnerability. The impact on children is long term and affects their adult health and relationships
ALL of this information and data above is the clinical and statics of how mental illness can throw a HUGE monkey wrench into a family.
As a survivor of (SMI), growing up with a parent with mental illness was quite scary and extremely painful. Unfortunately, my mother suffered from extreme mental illness, and as a family we rode that mental health roller-coaster of dysfunction, instability and abuse.
My mother did not get the proper help and support, and because of that we both fell through the cracks of a very flawed system that does not support families properly.
As a child I lived in the unknown, with nobody to turn to. Family, friends and doctors all turned a blind eye to my mother’s illness because they didn’t understand it. They did not know how to deal with it, so I was left alone to handle ALL situations that NO CHILD should ever have to deal with.
It is scary to watch your own parent rapidly cycle in a mania state, never knowing what will happen next. I had to learn quickly how to study her behaviors so I could survive the madness. The abuse I sustained over the years was horrific, horrendous and devastating.
Due to her instabilities, she made many poor decisions, putting me in ultimate danger, which included bringing unsafe people into our home who preyed upon me. I was eventually sexually abused because of those decisions.
The lasting effects on our youth is astounding! I struggled for years with my own poor decision making as a teen, as I held it all in silently, until I burst. It was a long hard road towards healing in the aftermath of the war zone that I grew up in.
Many young adults do not make it out alive, and if they do, they are damaged. I was that child and I can attest to the damage. Adult survivors of SMI and trauma have to battle extremely hard to overcome what has been embedded in their minds and bodies. YES, the body does keep the score.
It takes years upon years to undo the damage.
How can we change this narrative?
We can start by educating ourselves of mental illness, offering support and understanding.
There needs to be more programs set in place to support the whole family unit, so it does not fall apart.
There are no easy answers or quick fixes, because mental illness is a lifetime battle, but with a strong support system set in place positive things can happen.
Instead of seeing more families falling apart, and young children being placed in the system, there can be an alternative!
People with mental illness did not chose to be this way, and it may be difficult to get someone who is struggling to accept the help that they need. That is a whole different journey.
There are so many steps to all of this, because the bottom line to everything is –
If the person who is struggling REJECTS all help and support, they are ultimately setting themselves and their family up for failure. That is the sad truth.
The good news is, that many people do want the help, but they just do not know how to ask for it. That is where we all come in to do our part. We step up, offer support and help to find positive solutions.
Together we can make a difference. Mental Health Matters.
Embrace the Journey,
Lisa Zarcone
Author – Child & Mental Health Advocate – Public Speaker – Blogger
CASA ADVOCATE
MA National Ambassador for Naasca (National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse)
Social Media Influencer
The Unspoken Truth A Memoir
The Book of Joann – My mother’s journey with mental illness and our complex relationship as mother and daughter
Here are some inspirational quotes about mental health struggles:
1. "In the depths of your struggle, remember that each step forward is a victory."
2. "Your pain is part of your story, but it doesn’t dictate your future."
3. "Each day is a new canvas; paint it with hope and courage."
4. "Your heart is stronger than the shadows that try to hold it down."
5. "Rise from the ashes of despair; your spirit is meant to soar.
