The IMPACT - The story of Priscilla "Prissy"
Sometimes people or even animals enter our lives in a timely fashion, as the synchrony of life just seems to happen. There is no rhyme or reason as to why this occurs, so that leaves us thinking about things like - are there truly miracles, or does the universe intervene when necessary.
The Divine Intervention!
I have personally have had some of those “ah ha” moments throughout my life, and these moments have shifted my world in different directions.
I want to share the story of Priscilla “Prissy”, and how this girl changed my life for the better. She came at a time when I was deeply hurting and very lost. I was a young girl at the age of 12-year-old. My life was riddled with neglect and abuse, and my home environment was a toxic nightmare. I truly did not know which way to turn or whom to turn to, as nobody noticed the “invisible girl” struggling, or ever thought to ask the questions.
I would always try to be out of my home as much as possible, so I would go walking, exploring our neighborhood and surrounding ones as well. Every day I would walk by this house on the corner, the next street over from ours.
Our neighborhood was inviting with many trees, beautiful flowers, wooded areas in the back, with a running stream. This stream was the overflow from the lake just up the street. We were surrounded by nature and all of the animals that came with it.
As I walked by the big green house on the corner, there was an old dog house in the yard, and a beautiful light tan (blonde) retriever tide up with a chain. She always barked at me when I went by, and I would yell up to her Hello with a smile. I never felt like she was mean, as her bark was more out of desperation to be seen. Ohh, I understood that feeling all so well, so I always made it a point to acknowledge her. I wanted to go up and pet her, but I did not want to enter someone else’s property. It made me very sad to see her out there in all kinds of weather, alone and barking.
I felt helpless in all facets of my life, and even more so with seeing this poor dog stuck outside on a very short chain completely alone. All I could do is offer her my hello daily.
One day I was in my living room watching TV, and we had big glass sliding doors that lead out onto a wooden deck. I heard something out there, and I got up to see what was going on. To my utter shock, there was the dog that I always said hello to, sitting at my back door.
I became so excited that I opened the door to greet her, and she waltzed right on in, like she lived there. I sat on the floor and started petting her, talking sweetly to her. I could not believe she found me, and all I could think about was keeping her.
As I knew she belonged to someone else, I decided to take a walk over to their house and ask them if they still wanted the dog. I had an old dog leash from the last dog that we had so I used it to take her with me.
We both walked up to the front door, and I was scared to ring the doorbell. I had butterflies in my belly and my hands were shaking, but I took a deep breath and went for it. This young man came to the door looking annoyed that the dog was back. I asked him if this was his dog. He replied, “Yes, it is and I let her loose. We do not want her anymore”. I felt so mad inside that his person, just let her go, but I just smiled and said, “Can I keep her”? He replied, “Absolutely”, and slammed the door in my face.
I went back home and begged my mother to let me keep her, and finally after a big battle she agreed. My mother suffered from extreme mental illness and was highly unstable. I never knew what type of response I would get from her, and it was hard to ask anything of her, but I was so determined to keep this beautiful girl.
I was extremely happy, as my life had been so dark and lonely with much abuse happening all around me. She was a bright light, and I embraced her with so much love. I remember sitting on the back deck with her just talking to her about life. I explained to her how sad I was and she made me happy. She seemed to understand every word that I was saying, as I told her, “I was glad she found me”. I named her Priscilla (after Priscilla Presley), and I affectionately called her Prissy.
From that day forward we were inseparable. She came with me where ever I would go. Her and I went on many interesting adventures together. A young girl with her trusty dog by her side. She tried to protect me as much as possible, but what happened behind closed doors was something that was beyond her control.
I could remember hearing her whining, barking and crying when I was being abused, and that broke my heart. This was another level of “hopelessness” that I felt. I wanted to be the one to protect her, but I could not. How could I protect anyone or anything else, when I could not even help myself?
As time moved forward, and we moved out of that house of horrors, tough decisions had to be made. I fought with all of my might to keep my girl. My dad took me in for a short period of time, and I brought Prissy with me. He lived in an apartment that did not allow dogs, so it didn’t take long for them to tell us, she had to go.
Once again, I stepped up and fought for her, begging and pleading with everything I had inside of me not to lose her. My grandmother decided she would take her until other decisions were made.
My poor Prissy was once again locked up so to speak. She lived in the basement, and stairwell of my grandmother’s home. She was let out to use the bathroom and then it was back down to the basement. I could only visit her one or two days a week. We were separated and I was devastated. I shed many tears during this time frame, and I felt she did too. Sitting in that stairwell on the landing, I held her so tight. Looking around at her environment was so disheartening, dark and lonely. Nobody gave my girl the time of day, and internally I was beyond angry. Every time I got up to leave, she whimpered, and I could feel her pain.
I always promised her that I would be back, and someday I will make it all better for her. I looked into her soulful eyes seeking acceptance of what I was saying. She always gave me what I needed.
When I ended up moving in with my other grandparents (my mother’s parents), I once again begged my mother and grandparents to allow me to bring her home. It took a period of time, but then came a compromise. You see, my grandmother Rose was blind and did not want any animals in the house because she was fearful of tripping over them. As I understand this thought process now, I did not back then and was so angry I could not let her live in the house, but I agreed as I needed to bring her home.
My grandfather went out and got a big old wooden dog house for the yard. He shingled the roof for me, but it was up to me to make it warm, safe and cozy. I was just a young teen at this time, but I was resourceful. My unstable life did teach me how to survive in all types of uncharted territory.
With my cousins help we made this dog house beautiful. We painted it blue and white, and inside we insulated the walls and put up carpet on the walls for extra warmth. The floor had carpet as well with blankets. We put a rubber flap in front to keep out the bad weather. We were quite proud of ourselves when we were done, and Prissy seemed quite happy. You can tell she approved, as we saw her joy.
I still felt a huge sadness that she was once again outside on a chain, but this time it was a nice long one, and she had me to keep her company. I was with her every day, and when our home got dark and scary I would retreat to the dog house with Prissy. I would climb inside as it was big enough for the both of us and I would hide.
Inside this secret hideout I would talk with her, and cry many many tears, and she was always there to comfort me. She was loyal true and would never leave my side. I loved this dog with all of my heart.
When the weather was really cold, I would bring her into the basement. I made a bed for her down there and we would hang out together. I was doing everything in my power to keep her happy, warm and safe. At least the basement here was a bit roomier, and bright, which made me feel slightly better about our situation. She was also close to me, not like when she was at the other house. I could tend to her whenever she needed me.
She was my best friend and stayed with me through all the turbulent times in my life. WE went through it all. The ups, downs and sideways! As I grew up, life became busier between work and school. My time with her became less, but I always made sure she was cared for and loved. There was always a deep sense of guilt that I could not be with her all the time, so I would walk her as much as possible.
She was with me through my high school graduation and my college graduation. Now working at my profession, there were many changes in my life. I would see her laying out in the grass as I looked through the window before walking out the door, and there was always sadness in my heart.
I wanted to give this girl the best life ever. I wanted to spoil her, love her with all my might and bring her into my home, “Our Home”. This was something I could not give her, an inside home. I did my best, and when she became ill, I brought her into my bedroom, once again fighting for my girl. I would not take no for an answer. After taking her to the vet I found out she had cancer, and there was nothing they could do for her. She was 10 years old young. We all made her comfortable and gave her a tremendous amount of love until it was her time. To say I was beyond devastated to lose her is an understatement. I cried an ocean of tears over her. My heart was completely broken.
She was my earth angel, who never left my side, stayed true to me and gave me unconditional love always. She saved me in so many ways, that I didn’t even understand until many years later.
I would still talk to her at night and I would tell her I was sorry I could not give her the life she deserved. The guilt weighed heavy on me for a long time.
I still think back to that time in my life, and there is still a shroud of sadness that I feel, because she deserved better. She came into my life at the right moment, and I know she was sent to help me. We had this magical connection and when I talked to her, those beautiful soulful brown eyes understood. She would lean into me, as if to say it will all be OK.
I will never forget my special girl, as a piece of her always remains by my side. She taught me how to fight, and the true feeling of unconditional love.
The love of an animal can be so powerful.
I am forever moved by her spirit.
Embrace the Journey,
God Bless
Lisa
Author - Child & Mental Health Advocate - Public Speaker - Blogger - Social Media Influencer
CASA ADVOCATE
MA NATIONAL AMBASSADOR FOR NAASCA
2023 WOMEN OF IMPACT AWARD - BUSINESS WEST MAGAZINE
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The Day I brought Prissy Home. Her doghouse needed a lot of work!!!! We did make it happen