JUNE IS MEN(TAL)’s HEALTH MONTH! Let's Hear It For The Men

JUNE IS MEN(TAL)’s HEALTH MONTH

 Let’s hear it for the boys – Oh let’s give the boys a hand –Let’s hear it for our men it is time to understand.

Sitting with depression doesn’t sound like a pleasant way to spend your days. It is time to find “healthy” ways to live life!

Where do we start?    By becoming Mentally Healthy!

There is so much going on all around us in this big old wild world, and as we step forward to talk about the countless issues at hands, there is one topic that certainly does not get enough attention:  Men’s Mental Health  

As a mental health and child advocate, I continually speak and advocate for mental health as a whole.  Children, Women & Men.  Notice I put men last on this list.  I did that because it is rarely talked about or even addressed. 

The Stigma

Throughout the ages of time, men are described and depicted as strong, courageous, great providers and fiercely protective.  As little boys growing up, society attaches these labels onto them at a very young age. The weight that goes along with these labels are heavy, and it equals to a life of silence.  

“Big Boys Don’t Cry”

The persona that men cannot be sensitive, or have emotion of any kind.  

In this day and age, you would think that those old fashioned “stigmas” would be broken, but this certainly not the case. In America alone that stigma still rides high.  In other countries around the world the stakes are even higher.  Little boys are forced to fight, carry a firearm, and are taught brutality on all levels.

Boys simply cannot be Just Boys!

We are surrounded by the stigma, and NOW it is time to break that silence!     

We must support our young men.  It is time to teach them how to ask for help, speak up when they are feeling sad, mad or frustrated, and be given a safe place to share their emotions.   Our young men need to feel accepted for having feelings.  

This needs to be the new “Norm” – letting them know it is socially acceptable to share their emotions.  If we can start with our youth, changes can happen and we may finally be able to break the cycle once and for all.

Our future mentors and father’s need to be nurturing, not stone cold!

As for our grown men out there, it is time to do the work!   It is very hard to get going, but once you find your voice, life will change for the better.

Men struggle with mental health, past trauma/abuse, and depression, just like women do!    So, what is the problem with expressing that?  

As an abuse survivor, I was also taught to hold it all in.  Just like in the movie “Frozen” --   Conceal don’t feel… Elsa

That was me as a child and young adult.  The results of all the weight sitting on my shoulders and in my brain, almost killed me!   

The time is now to allow our feelings to show.  Men and Women stepping into the light and letting the world see who they really are.

YES – Very Scary to shed those masks, but the results of all your hard work will be such a magnificent gift that you can give to yourself. The transformation is a powerful journey towards freedom.

Please as we all move forward, remember the Men!  They were once little boys that craved nurturing, love and caring.  

Embrace the Journey.

As the Massachusetts National Ambassador for Naasca (National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse), I have had the privilege to speak to countless men all over the world, and there have been many mixed reviews when it comes to sharing their feelings.  Many men have said to me that they wished as a young adult they had a safe place to share, and express their thoughts and feelings.

I have also had men verbally attack me for even stating the fact that men should show their more vulnerable side.   How dare I promote men to be pansies!  YES, that is what someone said to me.  Another man stated that I am promoting men to be gay, by asking them to show emotion.

These opinions and statements are proof of how those “old fashion” teachings are still very present today.

Powerful.    

Please remember all over the world children are enduring abuse of all kinds.

YES – boys are abused, not just girls!

YES – There are many men connected with Naasca

We are all survivors

Here is some information if you are struggling in silence.

***If you are not sure where to start, a primary care provider may be able to help. They can screen you for depression or anxiety and determine an appropriate course of treatment.

Mental Health America

According to Mental Health America, male depression often goes undiagnosed, as men are more likely to “report fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, rather than feelings of sadness or worthlessness.”

Men’s mental health is important and should be taken seriously. However, many men may wait to seek treatment. MHA reports that “men are less likely than women to seek help for depression, substance abuse and stressful life events due to social norms, a reluctance to talk and/or downplaying symptoms.”

“Traditionally, we men are awful at talking about our overall emotional well-being, and feelings in general. We’re ‘good,’ we generally reply when asked. We’re ‘fine,’” writes Andy Riggs, AFSP advocate, morning radio host, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. “Even though, according to the latest available numbers, men die by suicide 3.63 times more often than women. 70% of all suicides are men.”

“As guys, many of us have been conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. This is why men are known for never stopping to ask for directions, or not reading the instructions when we put together the IKEA bunkbed unless we ABSOLUTELY need to, because we don’t want to be perceived as weak,” writes Riggs on the ASFP website. “Here’s the thing, my friend. Asking for help is a HUGE sign of strength.”

 according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):

“While mental illnesses affect both men and women, the prevalence of mental illnesses in men is often lower than women. Men with mental illnesses are also less likely to have received mental health treatment than women in the past year. … Recognizing the signs that you or someone you love may have a mental disorder is the first step toward getting treatment. The earlier that treatment begins, the more effective it can be.”

TRAUMA-MEN TAP INTO “DISASSOCIATION” TO BLOCK THE TRAUMA THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED

Ask a man if he has experienced any trauma and he will probably just shrug his shoulders. He will tell you he’s never faced any of it, so go ask the next guy.

The reality is that most men have experienced some level of psychological trauma.

What is trauma?

Trauma can be defined as situational or chronic.

·   Situational trauma is a car accident, one incident of harm or an overwhelming experience (such as witnessing someone being hurt, shot, or murdered).

·   Chronic trauma is where a person experiences ongoing traumas that include (and are not limited to): emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse and even spiritual abuse. For a more exhaustive list, click here.

According to PTSD United, 70% of us have experienced at least one trauma. If you dig into the statistics, you soon realize that trauma is not without its impacts. According to the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study, trauma is compounded. If you experience more than one trauma, then you experience greater impacts:

·   Weakened immune system

·   Greater susceptibility to stress

·   Increased risk of mental health issues, addiction, aggression and family violence

·   Increased stress in your approach to parenting, and as a result…

·   Potentially passing on unhealthy coping strategies to your own children

·    

The research only tells part of the story. Your body will tell the real story.

Men Matter