lisa zarcone
Author of The Unspoken Truth


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The Word “NO” Should Mean No Even in A Court of Law – This Blog has been inspired by one woman’s profound story

The Word “NO” Should Mean No Even in A Court of Law – This Blog has been inspired by one woman’s profound story

When you hear the word NO what is your instant reaction?

No means “STOP”!

It is amazing how one simple word can be so complicated.   When we are young babies learning how to speak one of the first words that we learn is the word NO.   It is funny how at such a young age we all embrace that word because it, unknowingly at the time, is teaching us boundaries, space placement, and the power of our own voice.

As we get older and life gets in the way, that simple word becomes much more complicated.   

When we talk about these strong subjects of child abuse, sexual abuse, and rape, the lines seem to get blurred especially in the court systems.   As young children and young adults we are at the mercy of the court, judges and jury, putting our ultimate trust in a very flawed system.   It is the luck of the draw if you come out on top, meaning that you are believed and helped in an appropriate manner.

As we make our way into adulthood you would think that your words would be taken more seriously, but that is not always the case.   There are many men and women out there that go through the courts with their filings, claims and stories that are not believed.   As they stand up for themselves using this word “NO” they are still brushed aside again at the mercy of the courts.

What is the point I am trying to make?    That all is not what it is meant to be.   Many years ago, government placed all these laws and rules into effect to help protect the people.  Now fast forward to the here and now and the corruptions, lack of thought and support have tainted a system that was supposed to be a positive NOT a negative.   

With that being said, I am not saying every judge and jury across America is wrong, what I am saying is that many times, mis-judgements happen, and when it does, we must stand up and fight for change and correct the flaws.     These issues must be addressed not hidden.

I am going to give a very strong example of what I am speaking about.

(link to this story of Lisa is posted at the bottom of this blog)  

Have you ever heard the term “Court Ordered Rape”?

 What is “Court-Ordered Rape”  The phrase, “court-ordered rape,” used hereinafter interchangeably with the phrase, court ordered gynecological examination, refers to a penetrative vaginal and/or anal examination of a victim conducted pursuant to a discovery order issued by a trial court in the course of a criminal prosecution or civil litigation.[1] While “court-ordered rape” is the phrase that (the victim) uses to characterize these cases, it’s worth noting some confusion that may arise in using this terminology, since some may confuse it with cases in which women and girls are raped pursuant to village council orders.

This is a procedure used to gather evidence when a victim has been sexually assaulted.   This is obviously a traumatizing experience for any man, woman or child who has already been victimized but unfortunately a necessary measure to gather evidence to form a case against the perpetrator. 

In some cases, a gynecological exam or cavity search is ordered when it is unnecessary.   There are cases filed all over the United States fighting to bring this raw and real subject to the light of day!

I recently spoke to a woman who was put into this exact situation.    She had filed a court case against her ex-boyfriend who abused her and ultimately gave her the herpes virus.   It was proven that it was an intentional act in court, but the abuser, along side his lawyer and the judge ordered a gynecological exam, even after her own doctors confirmed what she was diagnosed with.

This woman was subjected to a “court ordered rape” as she has named it, and it was done in a very abrasive way.    She clearly stated the word “NO” to having this procedure performed on her but was not heard.   She was forced to endure this degrading procedure for no clear, specific reasoning, as the evidence was already proven.

So, against her will, with a rape advocate by her side, they performed this exam as she bantered, sobbed and was clearly further traumatized by what was happening to her, triggering flashbacks to her trauma from this abusive relationship.   The advocate never stepped in to support her or to say “Stop” this is too much.  This incident left the woman emotionally scarred for life.

Fast forward twenty years later, this woman continues to struggle with the past actions brought against her by what should be a safe haven “the court of law” and is now using her voice to bring change.     She has fought endlessly to be heard by a system that has fallen on deaf ears, until recently.

How can we be heard in such a huge playing field?

Knowledge is key to change!   Educating ourselves on our rights as good citizens.   It should not matter about gender, race, color or creed, we should all be considered equals in the court of law!     We need to raise our voices for change.    We need to be heard breaking that silence and barriers that hold us in a place of “limbo”.

If you take the time to do a bit of research on these “taboo” subjects, you may be surprised at what you learn.   There are many injustices out there in this world, with countless “gray” areas.     The best defense you can have on your side is “knowing”.    Do not just plug along in life waiting for others to step up, be assertive and claim your space offering your voice, support and strength encouraging others to do the same.

We are more powerful as a whole!

This is food for thought and my hope is that you the reader take the time and do your own research, educating yourself as well as others.

Embrace the journey because you never know what will be put into your life path!

God Bless

Lisa Zarcone

Author/Child & Mental Health Advocate/Public Speaker/Blogger/Inspirationalist

The Unspoken Truth A Memoir – A Child’s Story – An Adult’s Journey Towards Healing

To Hear this show and about Lisa’s story here is the link below

(this is not my story)

Stop Child Abuse Now (SCAN) - 1968 -- special guest Lisa

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